PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize