Banned from zoo.
Again?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
