just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
