I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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