It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
anything below 65Β° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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