a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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