How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
