I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Randomize
