I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Can Purell be used as lube?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
