did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
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I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
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I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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