Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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