she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
