remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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