Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
