Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
i think my cat just said my name.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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