Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
