I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
