My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
