I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
You don't make any sense
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