Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize