i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
