I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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