I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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