his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
it's like iHOP with fire
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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