What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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