There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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