ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
