it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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