I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
