butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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