Texts From Last Night

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  (239): View more from Florida

  I wish I could drop acid with the muppets

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  (239): I wish I could drop acid with the muppets http://tfl.nu/kqkl
  Replies (33) Good night (4810) Bad night (717)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping

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  (401): and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping http://tfl.nu/w61z
  Replies (18) Good night (1134) Bad night (4959)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.

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  (828): As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance. http://tfl.nu/tng6
  Replies (85) Good night (9469) Bad night (1336)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime

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  (918): We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime http://tfl.nu/yqbs
  Replies (24) Good night (4248) Bad night (1048)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.

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  (404): boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am. http://tfl.nu/8njg
  Replies (6) Good night (1169) Bad night (3349)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him

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  (561): he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him http://tfl.nu/gz84
  Replies (15) Good night (4908) Bad night (938)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.

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  (503): When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning. http://tfl.nu/i94f
  Replies (2) Good night (1764) Bad night (1386)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.

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  (352): I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern. http://tfl.nu/54kf
  Replies (16) Good night (3950) Bad night (982)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.

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  (219): If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please. http://tfl.nu/b8so
  Replies (4) Good night (1486) Bad night (597)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.

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  (303): Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids. http://tfl.nu/27z2
  Replies (4) Good night (1464) Bad night (548)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.

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  (330): I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight. http://tfl.nu/cgn4
  Replies (1) Good night (459) Bad night (242)
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  (714): View more from California

  I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.

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  (714): I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner. http://tfl.nu/e65g
  Replies (3) Good night (533) Bad night (289)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets

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  (678): when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets http://tfl.nu/rbr4
  Replies (3) Good night (901) Bad night (335)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?

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  (484): He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he? http://tfl.nu/wud6
  Replies (1) Good night (554) Bad night (310)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!

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  (407): After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday! http://tfl.nu/hf0z
  Replies (3) Good night (576) Bad night (263)

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