The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You had me at "let me see your balls"