Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(501): View more from Arkansas

he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.

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(972): View more from Texas

I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(913): View more from Kansas

Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.

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(302): View more from Delaware

Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?

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(813): View more from Florida

My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police

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