Texts From Last Night

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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.

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  (603): I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd. http://tfl.nu/4bqw
  Replies (4) Good night (788) Bad night (970)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  i effin hate jeff goldbloom.

  (708): View more from Illinois

  but i totally would still bang him

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  (708): i effin hate jeff goldbloom. (708): but i totally would still bang him http://tfl.nu/w2kp
  Replies (32) Good night (1569) Bad night (927)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  he thought i was a dude.

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  (303): he thought i was a dude. http://tfl.nu/9d6g
  Replies (28) Good night (701) Bad night (6990)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.

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  (248): New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people. http://tfl.nu/cghq
  Replies (126) Good night (17142) Bad night (2195)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...

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  (320): im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it... http://tfl.nu/g5dr
  Replies (14) Good night (5652) Bad night (801)
• Favorite

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.

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  (731): Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us. http://tfl.nu/v50h
  Replies (6) Good night (2908) Bad night (721)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.

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  (412): dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes. http://tfl.nu/34tx
  Replies (20) Good night (855) Bad night (2367)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am

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  (727): I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am http://tfl.nu/ogdh
  Replies (7) Good night (884) Bad night (1302)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that

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  (518): Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that http://tfl.nu/9wbc
  Replies (2) Good night (847) Bad night (435)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.

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  (314): Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress. http://tfl.nu/ibp9
  Replies (17) Good night (3217) Bad night (1104)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?

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  (630): I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So? http://tfl.nu/1vsx
  Replies (6) Good night (600) Bad night (1287)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.

  (1-907): View more from Alaska

  That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.

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  (907): You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools. (1-907): That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day. http://tfl.nu/rl6v
  Replies (5) Good night (1513) Bad night (378)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve

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  (937): The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve http://tfl.nu/cdxu
  Replies (1) Good night (1239) Bad night (303)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.

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  (907): You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug. http://tfl.nu/t259
  Replies (3) Good night (654) Bad night (624)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals

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  (573): Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals http://tfl.nu/3npx
  Replies (5) Good night (733) Bad night (327)

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