He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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