You're so nebulous sometimes
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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