yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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