i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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