We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
