You're a womanizer and a bitch.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
