Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
