About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I can't turn off my feet"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
