I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
