so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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