We're like a lot better than the average bears
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
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All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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