Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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