Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize