dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
