Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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