I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liz is crying about burritos again.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize