Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
