We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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