I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
