If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
