I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
