I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
