dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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