I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
