I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
