Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
