I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
