you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I will pee on everything he values.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
