We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
i think my cat just said my name.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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