Do you still have your period?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
